Being ushered out of 2018 and into 2019, I had a lot of things I was thankful for, as well as many uncertainties to come. Coming into 2019, I kept feeling like God was saying, “You are blessed! You will be blessed!” More reassurance that God had everything under control and good things were to come, but inside I felt beat and defeated. As mentioned in my last post, we unexpectedly had to replace our HVAC system two weeks before Christmas. With a baby on the way, unexpected expenses, a depleted savings account, and needing to start making payments on an HVAC system we had to finance in order to purchase, I was not feeling like I was being abundantly blessed.
God had also been speaking to my spirit since last summer that I am strong; I am His warrior; no weapon forged against me would succeed. However, between a terrible bout with morning sickness and a ruthless sinus infection and cough that followed, I was physically ill and unable to workout to be physically strong for about three months. While, I understood God was talking about my spirit being strong in Him, my physical state left me feeling weak.
Despite all of this, I tried to keep my perspective positive and tried to stand on God’s promises for 2019. But it seemed like the more I’d try to keep my chin up, the more things in my life would unravel. I wish I could say I took all mishaps in stride, but (honesty time!), some days there were tears shed, there were pity parties I attended with me, myself, and I, and there were untrue, negative words I uttered over my circumstances.
All of this to say, one word came into my Jesus time one day and I have been clinging to it ever since. FAITH. I’m not really one of those people that makes New Year’s resolutions and has a “word” for the new year. I kind of float through life, trying my best to roll with the punches, and see what God has next. (And then when God tells me, I procrastinate a few months until the discomfort of disobedience reluctantly tosses me into the uncomfortable realm of being obedient. But that is another story for another day.)
Anyways, I was praying and listing out all the things I felt God had spoken over my husband and I and all the needs in our reality. The stark differences of those lists were disheartening.
God said I was strong, but I was physically weak and felt emotionally weak (thanks pregnancy hormones) and crying much easier than I normally would. A circumstance I was sure God was working in suddenly fizzled out and ended in a way my spirit did not think possible. What was I supposed to do with this?
Hebrews 11:1 (ESV) came to mind.
“Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”
Even though this is a common verse, the physical, emotional, and financial toll of the last few months made it nearly impossible for me to confidently declare this. But now I see, day in and day out, mountain top and valley low, faith will be my proclamation to my circumstances and weapon against the enemy’s lies.
I WILL BE SURE OF WHAT I HOPE FOR. Not dreaming small, praying small, and asking small to barely get through what obstacle I’m currently encountering.
I WILL BE CERTAIN OF WHAT I DO NOT SEE. I will live by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). I will be certain of God’s promises and live as though that is my reality, even if it is not.
Can being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see be applied to your year?
Did you take a leap of faith and have it not pan out (or it at least appears that way at the moment)? Did you try to start working out and whether you’ve been able to be diligent or not, fail to get the results you wanted by now and are contemplating quitting or already have quit? Did you try to quit or start to quit something you know is unhealthy (junk food, too much alcohol, drugs, gossip, fill in the blank!) and it just feels too difficult?
I encourage you to have FAITH. Be sure of what you hope for (healthier you, healthier relationships, success, financial blessing, etc), and certain of what you do not see (the results you desire and are not sure will ever come).
Now, (controversial verse alert, calm down!) the Bible says faith without works is dead (James 2:17 NIV), so I am not saying you can wish your way into a better life. Try to stay accountable and work towards your goals, but also, keep your thoughts and heart in check, being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. Remember, the “tongue has the power of life and death […]” (Proverbs 18:21 NIV).
My hope for you, as you work on resolutions or God is telling you what He wants you to do next, is that you would cling to faith and proclaim it over whatever it is you are going through!
*The title of this blog post was taken from lyrics in Here Now (Madness) by Hillsong United. Check out the sweet video below.