My husband, Christian, and I have always had different tastes and opinions. It took quite a bit of debating but we came to an agreement years ago, on what we would name our daughter if we ever had children. Despite us naming our future children before we even fully decided whether or not we wanted kids, God had a different plan. This is the story of how God gave me our daughter’s name.
To be entirely candid and vulnerable, God revealed our daughter’s name to me after a difficult conversation and ultimate surrender on my part. As a first time mom, all of the uncertainties and inexperience quickly morphed into fear and anxiety. I felt like I was having far too much cramping and pain for everything to be okay. A few days leading up to my 11 week ultrasound appointment, I was feeling convicted about not surrendering this baby and pregnancy to God. I knew in my head that this baby belonged to God long before it belonged to me and that I could trust God, but my heart was not as easily convinced.
I finally opened my heart to God and asked my greatest fear, “what if something happens and we lose this baby? What if we go to our ultrasound and there’s no heartbeat?” I remember God so gently but matter-of-factly answering, “I’ll be with you.”
A few months prior, some very good friend’s of my husband and mine had gone through some intercessory prayer with me. Issues were brought to light and dealt with. I was finally able to see that I did love God very much, but I did not trust Him. During the few months leading up to this pregnancy, I was slowly learning how to surrender every area of my life to God and trust Him with what would come next.
For the first time, in my entire life, God reassuring me He would be with me no matter what, was good enough for me. (Little did I know, this conversation was just the beginning of telling God He is enough, but that story is for another time.) As I committed to love and serve the Lord no matter what, my outlook on my pregnancy began to shift from fear to gratitude.
I had been sleeping terribly, but after talking to God about my fears, I slept so well. When I woke up the next morning, for the first time in weeks, I felt genuinely, wholeheartedly happy and grateful to be pregnant. I can’t believe I wasted so much time worrying, not trusting God, and feeling miserable. Miscarriage is unspeakably terrible. I have seen family and friends experience it and my heart has broken for each of them, leaving me helpless in attempting to heal and comfort their hurting hearts. However, looking back, I am sad I didn’t allow myself to truly feel joyful in those first few weeks. I had believed the lie that feeling indifferent would somehow soften the blow if my pregnancy were to end in miscarriage.
With a changed heart, I sat down to have some Jesus time. God told me we would have a baby girl and her name would be Lucille (meaning light) and Joy (meaning obviously, joy) and Lucy would be a light and a joy. He went on to tell me who she would be, including some of her spiritual gifts. He also told me He was doing a new thing. Lucy would be our daughter but she would be her own person that He designed. When God said this, I realized another subconscious fear—fearing she would take on certain attributes of myself or family members that were unhealthy and unwanted. Without me even realizing I had this fear, God was able to call it out and shut it down, reminding me that above all Lucy belongs to Him and He was creating her to be who He created her to be. How different life would be if we were all aware of who our Heavenly Father says we are, instead of justifying ourselves because our family is a certain way or because people have told us we are something we are not.
Towards the end of my prayer, I asked God for confirmation on all of this. God did not need to give confirmation. He already said it and was very clear, but He heard my prayer and cares about even the little things in our life.
The first confirmation came the Monday after Thanksgiving. I received a call from my nurse letting me know that some test results came back and we were having a girl. (Since my husband comes from a family of all boys and a girl hasn’t been born on his side of the family on his dad’s side in nearly 50 years, I almost didn’t believe my own ears. In fact, I asked my doctor to check my file again at my next appointment and when we had our 20 week ultrasound, I asked the ultrasound technician to double check and make sure we were having a girl.) As soon as I got off the phone with my nurse that November morning, I called Christian at work. He teared up as I told him the news. We were both pretty blown away that I had heard right and we were having a little girl.
Our second confirmation came in March. I was singing on the worship team at our church and Pastor Paul Geerling from Australia was preaching. When Pastor Paul came out on stage to preach during our second service of the weekend, he started praying for people and prophesying like he did the service before. Then he was pointing and said “I need to pray for you.” It looked like he was pointing at me, but no one ever calls me out of a crowd to pray over or prophesy. Like a dope, I looked behind me at the drummer and Pastor Paul said, “No, you.” I feel like I held up the service for a full 10 minutes before I figured out he was talking to me. In reality, it was probably 30 seconds or so. Once we got over the elephant in the room and confirmed that I was in fact pregnant, he started praying for our baby.
Almost instantly he prayed this baby would be a joy and joy would mark its life and that this baby would be salt and light. Again, Christian and I were blown away. After service, I was visiting with Pastor Paul and told him that Joy was the name the Lord gave me for her middle name. Crazy! Pastor Paul’s prayer over baby girl is below if you want to give a listen. It was filmed by one of our church’s youth. (Random side note, our youth are amazing! They are kind and thoughtful and they just need love like the rest of us! The girl that filmed this for me found me after service and then sent it to me. She said, “I thought you might want to show her this some day.” So God bless our youth with their technology! The End)
Our last confirmation came from a good friend. She was helping some other friends plan a baby shower for me and I had told them the theme of the nursery was woodland/Narnia. My friend messaged me and said she wanted to paint something for the baby’s room and that she was looking through Narnia quotes and she found one that said “Queen Lucy the Valiant” but she thought she heard from the Lord, “Queen Lucy the Joyful”. She said she didn’t know if Christian and I had a name yet and whether or not she should paint that for the baby’s room, especially if we ended up naming her something else. I could NOT believe how clear the Lord was being. My poor friend didn’t find out baby girl’s name until after she was born.
Lucy is just under three months old but has already personified her God-given name. She is such a joy and her smile lights up the room. I am humbled and honored to be the Mama of this precious, special girl.