Over the weekend, Christian and I were out of town attending a wedding. Christian was a groomsmen and I was his plus one (or two if you count Lucy, although she did not have any cake). As we were packing for our weekend away, I began to wonder what the heck I was doing. Dragging a three month old baby to the various wedding events was looking less and less appealing. I had many fears about somehow being a bother or burden and disrupting parts of the wedding weekend. I was so worried about Lucy being a problem, I kind of forgot I would be alone most of the weekend.
Pre-baby Josey would have felt insecure attending a wedding where I literally only knew the groom and my husband (who, as I mentioned, was in the wedding). However, I was so busy trying to navigate my way to the church, hotel, and venue and remember feedings and nap times, I kind of forgot until I got to the church.
The church was pretty full but the last 8-10 pews were empty, so I figured Lucy and I would sit towards the back in case we needed to make a mad dash due to untimely screaming (Lucy, not me, just to clarify). But again, being so consumed with my baby, I kind of forgot how weddings work. As the procession began, I realized every wedding guest and photographer were turned back looking at the doors to the sanctuary for the bridesmaids and bride. Oops. There’s Lucy and I in the second row of pews right by the door (the only way in and out of the back of the sanctuary).
It was nap time and Lucy was getting fussy but the bride (who I still have not met) and her dad were waiting for the right timing in the music to walk down the aisle. I contemplated, while the entire church was staring back at the bride, would I be more of a distraction walking down the aisle toward her and past her with my fussy baby or just be in all her photos trying to console my baby? At the last second, I decided against breaking up the processional, but after the bride walked past us, Lucy seemed to settle down and was focusing on the music.
I never realized Lucy being fussy in a quiet place is kind of like thinking you might get diarrhea on a road trip. As you near an exit where you could seamlessly pull over and use a rest room, your stomach starts to settle but once you are out on the highway again and miles from a real toilet, your stomach starts to cramp and you begin regretting every terrible thing you’ve ever eaten.
Speaking of diarrhea, Lucy had two blowouts the day before. And as the wedding was proceeding, Lucy would fuss or let out a cry and fart at the same time. It smelled TERRIBLE! Terrified of a blowout, I grabbed her receiving blanket and put it between my lace dress and her bottom.
So, any who, for the first five to ten minutes of the wedding, Lucy and I play this game where she cries out or fusses and right as I’m about to take her out she gets distracted by something and I think we will all be okay. Sick of the game, I quickly took her out of the sanctuary, but didn’t grab the diaper bag. As the foul smell continued, I was kicking myself for leaving the bag but went and grabbed it during one of the songs.
If there was a mother’s room, I didn’t find it, so I went to change Lucy in the church basement. To my surprise, I only found a wet diaper! I was thankful it wasn’t a blowout but that gas was deceiving!
We survived the rest of the ceremony just outside the sanctuary and in the church basement with a few other bored toddlers, one of which was very loud and I wanted to carry around a sign that said “it wasn’t my kid.” But oh well.
The Lord sent a sweet lady who told me Lucy did such a good job and that even the little noises she made before I took her out were okay. (I just said thank you and didn’t mention I was also very afraid of being pooped on.)
So, this was one of those weddings where the ceremony is at one time and the reception follows a few hours later and the wedding party doesn’t arrive for almost two hours after that. I thought showing up 40-60 minutes late would be doing myself a favor, but Lucy and I still had to sit outside with the rest of the guests for nearly an hour.
This was where my true introvert skills shined the brightest. I texted a friend and an awkward selfie and asked, “What do I do with my face?!” But seriously, what do you do with your face? Do I stare at the ground, lug my sleeping baby in her carseat around and introduce myself to people? Luckily I had Lucy with me and she was a good ice breaker but I put one of my odd talents to use more than I intended. I have this magical ability to hear literally every other noise around me besides the person standing in front of me asking me a question. To which I eventually just smile and nod and because I’ve found it is sometimes less weird than saying “What?” after every sentence they speak.
As we were let in the reception hall, I failed to find my place card and Lucy was getting fussy again. I almost abandoned Christian and went back to the hotel. Speaking to strangers is exhausting and Lucy had about had it. But I found my place card and tried to stick it out. I found a place alone toward the back of the reception hall and sat down.
Then one of the photographers was standing on the other side of my table. She told her second shooters she wanted to be right there. I didn’t look up and they hesitated and then moved somewhere else. “Why did they need to be right there? Was that passive aggressively asking me to move?” But once again, I realized, I sat in wrong spot too late. Out of the three, huge sliding barn doors in the venue, I chose to sit extremely close to the one the wedding party ended up entering from. Again, me and my fussy baby may very well be in the background of some of the big moments in this wedding. Ha! Lord help me!
Despite my peril, once again the Lord put in some wonderful women in my path during the reception. One came to tell me what a great job Lucy did in the ceremony and one came and cut up my food while I fed Lucy a bottle. Also, one of the staff told me her credentials of being a mother and grandmother and asked if she could hold Lucy while I ate, and another staff sat with me while I ate to keep me company. Accepting help is not my forte but I accepted all of it that night!
All in all, we survived our first wedding together and for the most part Lucy did an amazing job. As we started to drive back to our hotel, we put on her favorite song to stop crying to. (I posted it below.) So, is there a lesson to be learned from this lengthy blog post? Not really. Just letting you know how our weekend went and hoping you got a laugh or two out of it. Until next time!
