Softening Soil

In my previous post, I wrote about being challenged to define my summer with a word and replace my to do list with a list of things I would miss if I didn’t do them this summer. It is amazing the power perspective can have over our lives.

This switch brought me to the realization that if I didn’t plant (at minimum) an herb garden this summer, I would regret it during the long Iowa winter months. As mentioned before, our spring was heavily preoccupied with our house project so my garden was not planted when it needed to be. I feared it would be too little and too late. I kept toying with the idea but was procrastinating with a list of excuses.

But the more I stared at that overgrown flower bed, the more I knew it had potential to be so much more. Finally (IN JULY), I decided to wing it and just do it. Buying plants would be my reward, so first I tackled the overgrown bed which was completely overtaken by bugs, flowers, and weeds. Since we don’t own a tiller, I spent hours ridding the bed of weeds and wood chips. Not sure what would survive a late planting and the scorching July heat, I grabbed a few herbs, carrot seeds, pepper plants, tomato plants, and was given a pole bean plant.

As I was planting, I couldn’t help but think about how many things God has asked me to “plant” and “nurture” but were ultimately in his control. Sometimes things don’t turn out the way I planned or even the way they should have considering the time, energy, money, and researching I put into it. But I’ve slowly learned it is usually never about the money, the car, the house, the job, or the seemingly senseless task he asks me to do. It is almost always about a bigger plan and bigger picture. Usually, it has more to do with cultivating the hardened soil in my heart than the circumstances I find myself in. As a result, something more fruitful but surrendered can grow out of my soul than had the soil been left undisturbed.

With that in mind, as I planted, I realized I’ve grown less and less afraid of failure and the uncertainty of the future. Contrary to what people would expect, it’s not my successes that have made me less afraid, in fact, it’s my failings. I’m sure for some of you, it’s difficult to consider why a God of love would let us fail, especially at something we thought he asked us to do. However, whether I failed, a circumstance failed, or life threw us a curve ball we could not hope to comprehend or control, it’s in the failings and the fallouts that God has shown himself strong and my heart has grown a little softer.

This is not to say there isn’t a time and place where deliverance from a difficult situation is God’s plan. But from my own experience, I know I have wasted much time pouting and even at times being angry with God, when the whole time he was beckoning me to think bigger, pray bigger, learn and trust.

I wonder if there is an area in your life or a circumstance you are in that could benefit from a perspective shift. Perhaps a shift from demanding deliverance to stepping back and seeing if there is a bigger picture and a bigger plan God has for you.